eBay Wishes Do Come True
by Mei-chan and Rizu-chan
Summary: By Rizu chan. The title says it all. Please Review.
1. eBay

eBay Wishes Do Come True

By Rizu-chan

Disclaimer: Saiyuki is owned by Katsuya Minekura. The idea for this is an evil plot bunny that decided to steal my carrots in exchange for a good idea.

/eBay\\\

Emerald eyes scanned the computer screen as fingers slid across the keyboard. Slowly, a smile covered a freckle-flecked face and a snicker slipped out from between grinning lips.

At that moment, the door to the room opened and in stepped a tiny woman balancing a small stack of heavy schoolbooks.

"What's so funny, Cath?" she asked.

"I'm on eBay," the other woman said.

"And?" She dumped her books onto the bottom bunk with a small grunt. She brushed her long blonde bangs out of her eyes as she came over to look at the screen. "A wish? For a quarter? What the hell?" she asked incredulously.

"Isn't it funny?" giggled Cath. "Wanna go for it, Kisa?"

"It's your money…" groused the punkish Goth. Still, she looked vaguely interested. "What would you wish for?"

"Hmmm…" Cath clicked the 'Buy it Now' button and went through the motions of buying a wish. "I wish for…" She finished off the process.

"…For what?"

"The Saiyuki boys to be real!"

"…That would be cool, but you're a fucking moron. That wish can't come true." Kisa ran her fingers through the shorter black part of her hair, ruffling it.

"It was worth twenty-five cents, though," laughed the Irish-American. A dialogue box popped up suddenly. "Huh?"

Wish Granted

The two unlikely friends stared at the screen. "O-kay…" murmured Cath. She clicked 'OK'. "That was weird."

"Uh hu. C'mon. I'm starved." Kisa dragged Cath to her feet. As the punk moved to the door, her foot hit something soft. Glancing down, she saw the felt plushie that the two girls often called 'Sanzo-chibi'. "How did you get on the floor?" she muttered as she picked up the scowling felt toy and tossed it back up onto the top bunk. "Let's go."

Both girls exited their dorm. It was a beautiful day outside and the sun felt really good.

Kisa Eaglehart was your average American punk. The sun kissed her skin just enough so she had a tan line where her swimsuit ended. Her hair was short in the back… punkish short and black with purple streaks. Her bangs were a lot longer than the rest of her hair and bleached blonde. Kisa had gray eyes that betrayed her mood like ripples in water betraying where a stone had been dropped in. Currently, she was dressed in a black sports bra, baggy cargo jeans, and fingerless black biker gloves that went up to cover her biceps.

Her unlikely friend, Catherine McCoy, was almost a virtual opposite of the rather outspoken punk. She had reddish-brown hair that fell down to the middle of her back and emerald green eyes. Her skin, unlike Kisa's (which tanned easily), was spattered liberally with freckles… even in places where the sun never touched. She called it her 'Irish Curse'. Currently, she was wearing an unbuttoned white shirt over a dark green tank and fitted black jeans.

The two of them walked along, chatting brightly and laughing over Cath's 'stupid wish'. It took them an hour and a half to return back to their dorm. When they returned, they worked on their homework and saved their conversation for helping each other.

Finally, the dreaded homework was over with and they changed for bed. Cath changed into a soft cotton muscle-tee. It was one of several she managed to steal from her older brother, Carl, the last time she had been at home. Kisa had chosen an oversized button down and only buttoned four or five of the seven buttons, which left her black satin panties still exposed.

The younger of the two girls climbed up onto the top bunk, where she liked to nest. She flopped backwards onto her pillow… and shot back up again, rubbing the back of her head. "Owww," she moaned. Looking at her pillow, she saw Goku-chibi lying on her pillow with his usual wide grin, looking very innocent. However, something was very different. A gleam of metal came from Goku-chibi's felt diadem… and reached her hand out. Her fingers came down on cool metal.

"What the hell!" she exclaimed.

"What's wrong?" Cath called up, having settled down on the bottom bunk.

"Why the fuck did you mess with my Goku-chibi!" Kisa said, leaning over the edge of the bed to glare at her roommate. At Cath's look of confusion, Kisa thrust the plushie into her line of sight. "See, you ass!" Sure enough, there was a gleam of gold where Goku-chibi's one-time felt coronet was. Kisa then noticed something else. "And his HAIR! His hair's all… hairy?"

"Now that's an accurate description…" deadpanned Cath. She wasn't looking all that close at the plushie, for something else had caught her eye. Gojyo-chibi was laying face down, but his hair wasn't made of stylized felt anymore. "Huh?"

"What?"

"Gojyo-chibi," Cath said, lifting the doll. Its hair moved freely… key word being '_hair_'. "When did you get Barbie hair?" she muttered as she sifted her fingers through the hair. It felt more real than 'Barbie hair' though.

"Barbie hair?" Kisa asked, her eyebrow arching. "What are you talking about?"

"Gojyo-chibi's hair! It's not felt anymore!" Immediately she went to find the other plushie buried into her sheets. Her fingers found it and pulled it out. The plushie was virtually the same save for minor differences. One, the Hakkai-chibi had the same hair-thing going… Two, the Hakkai-chibi's one-time stitched monocle was now three-dimensional and made of metal and glass. "Okay. This… is weird."

"Tell me about it…" Kisa had once again vanished and when Cath looked over the edge, she saw that Kisa was cradling Sanzo… And Sanzo's hair was just like the others. "Okay… I'm going to bed now."

"Why?"

"Because… this is a fucking dream and I feel I should be in bed so if this really is a dream, I'll be in bed to wake up…"

"That made no sense…"

Kisa ignored the Irish-American and buried under her covers. After a long moment, Cath also decided it was time to turn in… This had to have been a dream. It was too weird otherwise.

/End\\\

So… you like?

Read and Review. I demand for reviews. Even if you flame.


	2. Morning

eBay Wishes Do Come True

By Rizu-chan

Disclaimer: Saiyuki is owned by Katsuya Minekura. The idea for this is an evil plot bunny that decided to steal my carrots in exchange for a good idea.

/Morning\\\

Kisa grunted as a foot collided with her leg. "Stoppit…" she muttered, clenching the warm sheets and jerking them to her. Only… they didn't come to her. "Hnnh?" she cracked her eyes open just a fraction to figure out why the sheets weren't coming to her. They were still their normal creamy white… Why the heck were they breathing? Another kick to her leg broke her train of thought. "Stoppit!" she yelped. Whipping her hand backwards, she caught the ankle that belonged to the foot and was rewarded with a yelp of shock. It was followed quickly by a shout of shock and the covers were suddenly disappearing. "What the fuck!"

"Goku… Silence," her covers that had remained said. Kisa looked up and her eyes widened almost to the size of saucers. Her breath was rushing inwards, filling her lungs, right before she expelled it in one fell swoop of a high-pitched scream. She pushed the pervert away and found herself suddenly… falling.

"Holy shit!" she said as she approached the ground… and landed on something that 'oofed'.

"Owwwwwwwwwwww," moaned the floor.

"Holy muther fucking Jesus had a little fucking lamb!" screamed out the punkish girl as she realized that she had landed on a guy.

"Isn't a little early for this?" moaned Catherine as she began to stir. Kisa looked over at the lower bunk and again freaked out. There, on either side of Cath, were two men… thankfully dressed.

"Omigod! They're everywhere!" Kisa yelped.

"Is it time for breakfast?" the guy next to her said sleepily. Kisa threw herself across the room and frantically began to rattle the handle to open the bathroom door not realizing the deadbolt was in place. The guy noticed her panicked expression. "Hey, you okay?"

"Silence!" barked out the voice from the top bunk.

"I'm awake!" yelped Cath, her head shooting up and her eyes wide. Then she saw where she was laying. On her right was a familiar head of red… on her left, nearer to the edge of the bed, was a head of brown and a little white ball of wings and fur on top of his chest.

Yes… _his_.

"Holy Mother of God!" she yelped, her Irish heritage showing prominently and suddenly in her accent. "…I could have sworn I didn't drink anything last night." The rattling of a doorknob attracted her attention and she saw Kisa just about crammed against the door that led to the bathroom and frantically trying to open it as she stared wide-eyed at a brown-haired, diadem wearing… short guy. Not quite as short as the petite punk… but still short.

Realizing the compromising position she was in, Cath bolted straight to the other end of the bed, not caring at this point whether or not she was showing a lot of ass or chest. She pitched herself out over the legs of the guy on the edge of the bed and hit the floor with a resounding thump… which woke up the three trying-to-sleep guys that were still in bed.

"Hmm?" the brunette on the lower bunk opened his eyes slowly to reveal emerald green eyes. Those eyes turned to see a rather bewildering sight. A young woman wearing nothing but a button down shirt and black underwear was frantically trying to get through the door and away from Goku, who was trying to comfort her. At the edge of the bed was another young woman wearing even _less_ than what the first girl was wearing and her face was a strange combination of total horror and awe as she stared at him. A muscle tee was barely keeping her decent to even _look_ at. A light blush crept up his cheeks at the sight.

"It's o-_kay_, pretty lady. Calm down…" Goku said as he tried to sooth the panicked girl. "I'm not gonna hurt you…"

"Like hell you won't, you fucking pervert!" she was still huddled against the door but her foot shot out and barely grazed his chest as he leapt backwards in surprise.

"Um… but you'll hurt me?" whined the golden-eyed boy as he still tried to calm her down.

"Shut UP!" an annoyed Sanzo said, shooting up… before having to go right back down. He had hit his head on the ceiling. "What the hell!"

"Damn it, what's with all the fucking racket!" Gojyo said, finally awake. "I'm trying to sleep over he—HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED!"

"Good morning," Hakkai replied back cheerfully.

"Okay… I'm hallucinating," murmured Cath.

"Don't you 'good morning' me!" Gojyo bit out.

"I _must_ be hallucinating…" Cath continued.

"What the fuck is wrong with you fucking people, sneaking into our goddamn room in the middle of the fuckin' night!" Kisa demanded, her potty mouth getting the better of her. Her eyes were so dark a gray, they were almost black.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"What's going on in there!" the very familiar voice of the dorm mother called through the locked door. There was the soft jangle of keys.

"Shit," muttered Cath and Kisa, looking at each other before looking at the four men in their room. As one, they grabbed the arms of Hakkai and Goku and shoved the two of them into Cath's wardrobe.

Right before they tried to protest, Kisa grabbed one of Cath's dirty shirts and stuffed it into Goku's mouth. "Shut up. Don't move," hissed Kisa. Then they shut the doors. Cath was already beginning to hustle Gojyo under the bed with him protesting. Naturally, he couldn't protest very loud for Cath was already shoving crap underneath the bed to disguise him. Kisa grabbed the covers off of Cath's bed and threw them up over onto hers, effectively covering Sanzo. She stepped up onto the edge and hissed a threat at him before he could attempt to throw the added sheets off. "You'd better not remove those sheets or make a single move or else you'll be majorly sorry and I won't be the one making you sorry. Capishe?" Violet eyes managed a final glare before they were covered and Kisa was going to the door.

Upon opening it, she saw Mrs. Lowery scowling at them. Mrs. Lowery was an elderly woman. She was normally good-natured… but the very loud dropping of three bodies onto the floor had undoubtedly disturbed her sleep.

"What is going on in here?" she said, eyeing both girls with suspicion.

"I'm sorry about that…" Kisa muttered, being very polite. "I had a really bad dream and I fell out of bed."

"And what was with all the thumping and the yelling? I was sure I heard male voices." The dorm mother stepped into the room and eyed the entire space before stepping over to the bathroom and unbolting the door to look in there.

"The thumping came from my books accidentally getting tipped on the floor, ma'am," Cath said as she pulled on a pair of discarded overalls she had left lying on the carpet, trying to get more decent than a thin muscle tee. Lucky enough, her books _had_ been on the floor to help prove that statement… and thankfully none too neatly either. "Kisa knocked them off the dresser when she fell."

"And the voices?" persisted Mrs. Lowery.

"Would you honestly believe me if I told you that we scared ourselves with the television?" deadpanned Kisa. She picked up the remote, conveniently lying on the floor, and turned it on, glad that there was a reason for the movie, Saw, to be on television in a horror movie marathon that would go on all today. When the screaming started, Lowery demanded they turn it off.

"Okay… I believe you," sighed the woman. "But no more shenanigans, got it?" She directed one more sour look at them before walking out of the room and back to her own… inconveniently placed right beneath their room.

Once the sounds of her footsteps had gone, the two girls sighed in relief. Now… to deal with the problem of…

…

…

"Um… I am correct in assuming I _just_ saw a _life-sized_… Oh shit," murmured Cath.

"Oh muther fucking shit. Your fuckin' damn demented wish came true, you bitch!"

"Um, sorry?"

A faint knock came from inside the wardrobe. "Can we come out now?" came the muffled voice of none other than Cho Hakkai.

The two girls looked at each other for a long moment before Cath said, "Um, sure?"

Sudden movement came from all directions just about and two bodies came from Cath's closet, one from under Cath's bed, and one from Kisa's top bunk.

"Okay, where the fuck are we?" demanded Sanzo, drawing his gun out and pointing it directly at Kisa. No one threatened him and fucking got away with it.

"Better yet. How the fuck did you assholes get in here?" demanded Kisa, not the least bit scared.

"Do we look like we know?" asked Hakkai in way of reply. A long moment of silence passed as everyone looked at each other.

"Powwow, now," Kisa said suddenly. Everyone looked at her, the Saiyuki boys utterly confused by her terminology.

"What?" Gojyo asked flatly.

"Meeting, now," Cath translated, used to Kisa's random Native-American oriented words.

"I'm a fucking Indian," Kisa snapped out, annoyed they hadn't understood her. "Get the fuck over it!"

"We're in India?" queried Sanzo, finally removing his gun from sight.

"No! We're in America, you dumbass! India's on the fucking other side of the world!" protested Kisa.

"Oh, dear…" murmured Hakkai. "It seems we regressed instead of progressed." The Sanzo-ikkou finally started to sit down. Goku dropped onto the floor, crossing his legs yoga style. Hakkai moved to one of the desk chairs gathered around the computer in the corner. Cath had taken a spot at the head of her bed and was immediately joined by Gojyo. Sanzo took the other free chair, not wanting to sit on the floor nor by the cockroach. Kisa didn't even sit down. Instead she was standing in the center of the room; hand on forehead and thinking very hard.

"Don't hurt yourself now, sexy," Gojyo just about catcalled. Kisa just lifted her other hand and flipped him off. "Now?"

"Hell no, ya fucking asshole. Now, lets get this meeting underway." She began pacing back and forth across the room, her brow furrowed. "Let's state the facts… Number one: there are four men in our dorm… men that weren't _here_ last night.

"Number two: these men look a hell of a lot like the Saiyuki guys… Which is damn scary considering you, Miss Catherine Rose McCoy, decided to wish them to _life_." Cath made a move to speak, but was immediately cut off by Kisa speaking again.

"Number three: This wish was done via _eBay_! Tell me, what the fuck is wrong with this god damn picture!"

"What's an 'E Bay'?" asked Goku from his spot on the floor.

"A site on the Internet where you can buy just about anything from cards to cars," Cath said, looking over at Goku. She absently swatted at the hand that was trying to snake around her waist. Glancing over at the red-haired man, she saw that he had a pouty look on his face. Cath just raised her eyebrow as if to say 'What?'

"Anyway… What are we going to do? There's only two weeks of school left, but that's more than enough time to get caught. What the hell are we going to do?"

"Not to mention final exams…" murmured Cath.

"EXACTLY! How am I to study with four damn fuckin' sexy hot men in my room?"

This caused all onlookers to sweat drop at Kisa's words even as she continued to mumble under her breath. "…And I think there should be some rules," she finally said loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Rules?" It was uncertain who actually said the word, but it did have some amount of doubt in it.

"Yes… _Rules_. Rule number one is that there is _no snogging_…" Her voice faded off for a moment before she grinned mischievously. "…Unless it is with Sanzo. Rule number two… no playing games unless everyone agrees to it. Rule number three is no _sex_." Everyone ignored the soft protest from Gojyo. "I can't think of anything else… Cath! You're turn!"

She grabbed the Irish girl's wrist and pitched her into 'center stage'. Kisa immediately sat down to prevent the girl from backing out before slouching backwards… The punk had forgotten that she was dressed in a long button-down and completely flashed everyone in the room. Naturally Gojyo looked… Kisa caught the leer and threw a pillow over her crotch so that he couldn't see anymore. She leered right back, only it was more of a sneer.

"Um…" Cath looked really put upon the spot. She rubbed her hands together nervously. "I guess… well… The dorm. It's a girls only dorm and… well, during the day… You'll either have to be outside 'cause we don't know when the dorm mother will be poking her nose into our room… or you'll have to… I dunno… dress as girls?" She looked really disgusted and humored by that thought at the same time. Naturally, the guys were disgusted by that thought. Kisa thought it was hilarious. "And… uh. That's all I can think of… Questions?"

"Yeah. What's 'snogging'?" asked Goku.

"Um… that's a British-ism for making out," Cath said, grinning. "So… is it workable?"

"You're a pair of fucking morons," Sanzo said flatly. "We're out of here." He stood roughly and started walking to the door.

"You don't want to do that…" singsonged Kisa. "There's a bunch of girls out there… And they're in their un-der-wear… Step out-side, the door will lock… Then you'll real-ly will be fucked!"

Sanzo had managed to get his hand on the door, but at the little tune, he jerked his hand back as if he had been shocked. Gojyo, on the other hand, sat up and seemed quite interested.

"And she hasn't even mentioned the evil Dorm Mother of DOOOOMM!" laughed Cath. "That's who we had to hide you from. Mrs. Lowery is pretty cool most of the time, but she's also pretty nosey. And we're right above her, so keep down your voices… Your voices down… ah, hell, you know what I mean."

"So… When shall the snogging commence?" Kisa asked, looking straight at Sanzo.

"I thought there was to be _no_ snogging, Miss Eaglehart…"

"Shut up, Lady McCoy. And I repeat. There will be no snogging except with Sanzo!"

"…So, does that mean I can snog him?"

"NO!" protested Kisa and Sanzo simultaneously. Sanzo glared at the tiny woman. "I don't want _you_ to kiss me either."

"Why not?" asked Kisa poutily. She looked quite tiny at her 5'3" staring up at Sanzo's 5'10".

"…" Sanzo didn't even bother to dignify that question with an answer.

"After all," Kisa continued when she realized he wasn't going to speak. She poked him square in the chest with her index finger to accentuate every single syllable. "I own you… Sanzo-_chibi_."

POOF+

/End\\\

As said before… Read and Review. I loooooove reviews.

…

Not to mention my bunny likes reviews. He says they taste like carrots. Oh… and I've named him 'Hun Fua'. _No_ idea what it means… but it sounds fun, right?


	3. Shrek

eBay Wishes Do Come True

By Rizu-chan

Disclaimer: Saiyuki is owned by Katsuya Minekura. The idea for this is an evil plot bunny that decided to steal my carrots in exchange for a good idea. This plot bunny is named Hun Fua.

/Shrek\\\

"I own you… Sanzo-_chibi_."

POOF+

Kisa's finger was still hovering right where she had jabbed Sanzo in the chest. However, there was no chest to be jabbed anymore. "Huh?" In Sanzo's normally _adult_ place stood something that no one would have ever expected: a five-year-old blonde draped in Sanzo's clothes, violet eyes looking rather pissed. "Now… That's different."

"What the fuck did you do to me!" demanded Sanzo in a childish voice before immediately clasping his throat in shock. "What the fuck is wrong with my voice!"

"That is _sooo_ cute," Cath said.

"That… is so _wrong_," Gojyo said, staring. Everyone else was stunned into silence.

"So… what turned him into a kid?" Cath said, moving so she could look eye-to-eye at the miniaturized Sanzo. He looked at her with a very evil glare.

"I just poked him in the chest said 'Sanzo-chibi', just like we call our plushies…" Kisa said, still staring. Then she grinned slightly. She spun and looked at Goku. Immediately, she began to jab him in the chest and said, "Goku-chibi!"

POOF+

In the place of an eighteen-year-old Goku… there was a three-year-old version of him also draped in suddenly oversized clothes. Fortunately, his diadem shrank with him so no one had to worry about a miniature insane Son Goku killing them all.

"You're just the _cutest_!" Kisa literally squealed. She dropped to her knees and hugged him close… Right into her breasts. "Cute, cute, cute!" Goku's face turned bright red at exactly where his face was.

"Um… You're suffocating him," Hakkai said, stepping over to remove Kisa from the boy.

"Unh uh, Hakkai-chibi!" Kisa said, jabbing her finger at him. Nothing happened. "Hakkai-chibi?" She continued to poke him. "Why isn't it working?" she whined.

"Maybe you're doing it wrong?" Cath offered.

"Actually, I would most certainly prefer it if you _didn't_ turn me into a child, Kisa-dono," Hakkai said, quite relieved that he hadn't been 'chibified'.

"…" Kisa glared at him, mad that her turn-the-cute-guys-into-cute-kids spree was finally over. "Cath?"

"What?" asked the Irish girl.

"Do what I did."

"What? Poke him in the chest and say 'Hakkai-chibi'?"

POOF+

"…And it seems I would become a child anyway," Hakkai sighed. He stood in his overly large clothes, Hakuryuu flying about him and rather confused about the sudden change. Hakkai reached up to make sure his ear cuffs were still in place. The same couldn't be said of his monocle, though. It was too large for his nose… After all, four-year-olds _were_ pretty small.

"Um… Kisa? Is you're incredibly bad luck spreading? 'Cause I'm pretty sure it isn't mine. Irish are supposed to have good luck."

"Aren't freckles supposed to be bad luck?" asked Goku, recovering somewhat from his close encounter of the female kind.

"You're not going to do that to me, are you?" asked Gojyo warily as he stood as if to walk straight out of the dorm if they did.

"Do it to the damn cockroach too," demanded Sanzo, glaring up at the much taller individual.

"Hey!" protested Gojyo, glaring down at the Sanzo. "I've got standards, man! I don't want to be a part—"

"Gojyo-chibi."

POOF+

"—of this shit… aww, man!" finished the child's voice. "Why did you have to do _that_!" he demanded of Cath, who had said the 'fatal nickname'.

Again, the scene was almost too cute for words. A four-year-old Gojyo draped in his too big clothes, scowling upwards at the Irish woman. Let's here it, girls. AWWWWW!

"And here I was thinking you were cool and all," said the kappa-hanyou child in a huff. "Now I'm a fucking midget."

"Well… at least it'll be easier to hide them," offered Cath, looking helplessly at the four one-time adults (although it was debatable in Goku and Gojyo's case). "What do you think?" she asked of Kisa.

"We're gonna need to get clothes. There's no way in hell they'd be able to go outside in those," said the Native-American.

"Then you'll have to buy them," Cath said. "Poor Irish girl whose poppa makes her help bale hay standing here! I can't pay for it. It's all I can do to make sure Pops doesn't take my ride back. You're the rich one, with your uncle in Oklahoma owning that casino, not to mention the government financing that place you call a _house_!"

"Well, your definition of 'house' is more like a one-story, three bedroom shindig with an outhouse."

"That 'outhouse' isn't just the toilet. It's got a really nice tub and shower, too," protested Cath.

This was an argument they had had hundreds of times. The first time Cath had taken Kisa to her house, Kisa hadn't realized that Cath could easily be considered 'poor white trash'. So… she accidentally insulted Cath's house. Cath, on the other hand, had seen Kisa's virtual _mansion_ and nearly fell over in shock. They soon became fast friends for unlike many of Kisa's previous friends, Cath didn't like the fanciness of the Eaglehart manor and preferred the farm that her father and his brother co-owned. Cath, Carl, and their Pops lived in the farm hand's house as opposed to the actual farmhouse that Uncle Grant and his wife and son lived in. Their original argument over the years slowly became a game for them.

Naturally, the Sanzo-ikkou didn't know this.

"Why are you fighting?" Goku asked. "I mean… Aren't you friends?"

"We're just making fun of each other's houses, Goku," Kisa said.

"Yeah. It's just one of those things we have fun doing," continued Cath. She looked at Kisa. "I still say my house is better."

"Yeah… If you're into that Western thing."

"Enough," Sanzo spat out. "You two are giving me a headache. Now, change us back."

Both girls looked at the child and then at each other… and then at the child. "Um… we don't know how," Cath said lamely.

/Beep/Beep/Beep/ … /Beep/Beep/Beep/

"What is that?" asked Hakkai, looking about for the sound.

"Oh, crap!" yelped Kisa. "I'm late! I'm late! For a very fucking boring claaaaaassssss!" She grabbed some jeans and her sports bra. Just as she was about to pull open her shirt, facing the wall…

"Ahem," came Cath's voice.

"What?" the Native-American snapped. She looked back over her shoulder… and stopped. There were four pairs of male eyes staring in some shock as Kisa was about to flash the entire room. "Oh."

"Yeah… Oh."

Kisa ran into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. There were furious sounds of rustling fabric a moment later. After a moment, Kisa reemerged in her unbuttoned nightshirt, black sports bra, and a pair of tight fitting jeans that suddenly branched into flares just below the knees. A moment later, she was sitting on the bed and jerking on her favorite boots. They were freshly oiled black leather and had five silvery stainless buckles running up the outside. As soon as she was done, she grabbed her still-beeping cell phone and her book bag and bolted straight out the door with a quick "Bye!"

The door clicked shut…

Silence descended…

There was a loud gurgle. "I'm hungry," whined Goku.

"You're always hungry, you damn chimp!"

"I'm not a chimp, you stupid cockroach!"

"I'm not a fucking cockroach! Don't make me hit you, you midget!"

"You're a midget, too!"

"Shut up!"

"Both of you be quiet!" Sanzo's very young voice rang out as his familiar paper fan appeared out of nowhere and he smacked the two of them over the back of their heads.

Cath whimpered softly as she sank to the floor. "Why me…?" she whined, finally realizing exactly how abusive three out of the four were.

"What's wrong, Cath-dono?" asked mini-Hakkai.

"Um… I don't have class until one…" Cath told him. "And it's only nine."

It was rather obvious that there wasn't small enough clothing for all of them, for every single one of them had virtually abandoned most of their clothes save for their shirts because their pants didn't fit… their boxers didn't fit… not to mention Sanzo's quote-unquote 'dress' didn't fit him. In other words… they were virtually naked and it was obvious that they were not entertained with the prospect of having to spend the day literally half-dressed.

"…May I ask something?" queried Hakkai.

"You just did," Cath said. "But go on."

"How do you know us? How does Kisa-dono know us?" the green-eyed youkai chibi said as he sat down on the floor, crossing his legs after making sure not to flash Cath.

"'Cause you're famous… Seriously famous," Cath replied as she turned partially.

"That doesn't explain anything," Sanzo said, looking at the girl darkly.

"…I guess not… But this might." She pulled out her shoebox full of manga and set it before her. Then she pulled out 'Saiyuki Volume 1'. Then she pulled out the second, the third, the fourth, the fifth… you get the idea. As each volume was presented, the Saiyuki boys' eyes widened slightly more. "See? Famous. You've got your own manga series… your own show… even your own merchandise. Of course, Katzuya Minekura gets all the credit, so you get no money." Cath shrugged. "Kisa got me into anime… ironically 'Dragon Ball Z'."

"What d'ya mean?" asked Gojyo as he lifted one of the manga volumes to look at the cover.

"Well… 'Dragon Ball Z' is based off of the same legend your story is based off of… I'm not really all that big of a buff on Chinese legends, so…" She trailed off and began to gather her manga up. "I've got no idea how the real legend goes."

"…I'm _cold_," Goku said suddenly. "And hungry. _Really_ hungry."

"Shut it, monkey," bit out Sanzo, tired of the ceaseless complaints about food.

"Well, I'm sure that Kisa wouldn't mind—" The sudden ringing of the telephone cut her off. "Um, excuse me…" She grabbed the phone and hit the 'Talk' button. "Hello?"

"Hey, Kit!" the all too familiar voice of her brother said through the receiver. "How are you doing?"

"I'm… okay."

"That doesn't sound very confident. You failin'?"

"No! It's just that…"

"Who's that?" Goku asked suddenly.

"I'm kinda busy right now," Cath continued, signaling frantically with one hand to make Goku be quiet… That of course didn't work well at all.

"Who was _that_?"

"Um… Just a kid I'm looking after, Carl."

"Enola? I was pretty sure she didn't come up with you two to college."

"What is that?" Goku asked, jabbing his finger in the direction of the phone.

"Stoppit!" protested Cath, for the little boy was nearly climbing into her lap… She found it rather… monkey-like.

"Siddown and behave, ya damn monkey!" Gojyo said, dragging Goku away from the girl on the phone.

"Okay," Carl said, having heard the 'conversation'. "I don't think that Enola knows those words." A momentary pause followed. "Actually, I don't think she can say more than 'mama' and 'no' at the moment."

"They're some cousins of Kisa's… I'm just watching over them for the moment 'cause their moms had to go to… Wal-Mart." She knew it sounded really lame and knew Carl would call her on it.

"Why didn't they go with their moms?" Carl asked.

"They wanted to stay with Kisa?"

"Is that a statement or a question, Kitty?"

"Um… I gotta go! They're trying to kill each other!" yelped Cath as she hurriedly stood to break up the fight that was once more commencing between Goku and Gojyo. "Bye!"

"Kitty!"

/Click/

"Stop it right now!" Cath said, picking both up awkwardly, one under each arm. Naturally it was difficult because wiggling toddlers were nothing like stationary bales of hay.

"You're finally acting your age, Gojyo," Sanzo said snidely, amused by the scene. Gojyo glared at him from under Cath's left arm.

"You're an ass," he sniped, flipping him off. "And you look _your_ age, too."

"Say it again, you stupid bastard," growled Sanzo, awkwardly lifting the gun with one hand before his other had to come up to steady the very large (for a five-year-old) gun.

Immediately, Cath dropped Goku, knowing he would be fine, and grabbed the gun right out of Sanzo's hands. "No guns for you, Columbine Kid."

"Hey! That's mine, you bitch!" protested Sanzo, glaring at Cath as she put down Gojyo. "Give it back, now!"

"Uh, uh, Sanzo-_chan_. Guns aren't allowed at school." Cath walked over to Kisa's wardrobe and stuffed the gun up behind the television perched up there.

"_Don_'_t_ call me _that_!" hissed Sanzo. "And give me my damn gun!"

"No." She opened Kisa's wardrobe and began pawing through the numerous CD cases. "Now where's that… Ah, here it is!"

"What's that?" asked Goku, looking at the CD case she had pulled out.

"Kisa's DVDs."

"DVD?" Hakkai asked, finally seeing the need to speak up.

"Movies. I don't have class until one and Kisa should be back before then, so… movie time." She flipped through the disks and finally hit upon one of her absolute favorites. "All right. This is good."

Cath turned on the DVD player and the television. A moment later, the screen changed from its normal blue screen to the opening sequence of her chosen movie.

"It'd better not be something stupid," muttered Sanzo, sulky that he had lost his gun.

"Oh, grow up," shot back Cath. "This is fun." The menu came up and all present stared at the foolish opening screen. Donkey, as per usual, was leaping up from behind the cast of characters yelling 'Pick me! Pick me!' over and over again. Indeed, it was Shrek.

Cath hit 'Play Movie' almost immediately before the Sanzo-ikkou chibis could become disinterested.

"This _is_ stupid," muttered Sanzo, climbing onto the bed to sit… There was an almost petulant look on his face. Gojyo and Goku both sat on the floor, sharing the thought of 'if Sanzo thinks it's stupid, it should be pretty good'. Hakkai also took his seat, but instead it was on one of the desk chairs. Before sitting, he shifted it so he could see the screen. Hakuryuu perched on the back of the chair, because he was too big to perch on Hakkai's shoulder. Instead, he just laid his head down on the chibi's shoulder.

Cath settled down in the chair before the computer, intent on doing some form of schoolwork as they watched the movie. Then the door rattled.

/End\\\

So… what do you think about a four-year-old Gojyo? Cute.

A four-year-old Hakkai? Sweet.

A three-year-old Goku? Adorable.

A five-year-old Sanzo? Fucking hilarious.

Well… that's what I think.

**READ & REVIEW!**

Same rules apply… three reviews to continue…

And Hun Fua loved the reviews!

_The purple button is calling you…_


	4. Enola

eBay Wishes Do Come True

By Rizu-chan

Disclaimer: Saiyuki is owned by Katsuya Minekura. The idea for this is an evil plot bunny that decided to steal my carrots in exchange for a good idea. This plot bunny is named Hun Fua.

/Enola\\\

The door rattled violently.

"Can I get some help?" Kisa's voice said from the other side of the door. Gojyo, being nearer to the door, got up and opened it. "Thanks," mumbled Kisa around the big box she was carrying.

"What the heck is that?" asked Cath, surprised to see such a large box.

"Clothes."

"…Um, where did you get them?"

"From my house… your house… and Carl said something about you telling him that my cousins were over?"

"Eh, heh, heh…"

"Come on sweetie," Kisa said over her shoulder at the tiny figure grasping her pant leg. The child had pretty green eyes and her dark brown hair was pulled into high pigtails. She was dressed in a black tee-shirt with hot pink stitching and a hot pink decal on the front that said 'Punk Princess', blue jeans with a pink star stitched on her right thigh, and pink checkered Vans with Velcro straps that were uneven.

"Hey, Enola!" Cath said, sweeping the tiny girl into her arms. "You did your shoes again, eh?"

"No!" Enola said with a bright grin, patting her 'Ca's' face. The Irish woman was very fond of Enola for one simple reason… Cath was her Godmother.

"That's my girl!"

"Do you have a hearing problem?" Gojyo said, looking up at the baby. "She said 'no'."

"She can't say 'yes'," Kisa informed the kappa. "So she does the next best thing." She dropped the box on the floor after finally wrestling it inside. "Here. Take what you want and leave the rest. I can use it on Enola when she gets bigger."

"So, how'd your test go?" asked Cath.

"Done in fifteen minutes. Easy 'A'." She glanced at the television. "Cool! Shrek!" She plopped on the bed, displacing Sanzo, before grabbing him and forcing him to lay right next to her… completely ignoring his sounds of protest as she watched the screen. Prince Farquaad was now on screen and torturing the Gingerbread Man. "Gingerbread Man!" she said, grinning. "…Now I want gingerbread."

"Get off."

"Nope."

Cath grinned at the funny scene that was occurring right on her bunk. Enola started squirming, wanting down. Cath complied and sat back in her desk chair, still wanting to get her work done.

Naturally, that wasn't going to happen… what with two infants, three toddlers, and one overgrown kid… Anything serious or adult in nature is immediately fucked.

"Ahh, no! Don't!"

"Mine! Mine!"

Everyone turned to see Enola wanting Goku's diadem. And she was making that want very noticeable for her fingers were on the shiny metal and pulling. Goku was trying to not hurt her, but the only way he could do that was by keeping both hands on the coronet and keeping the thing in place.

"Stoppit!" Goku said. "Don't!"

Gojyo stood and hurried over, saying "I'll save you little buddy!"

"What the hell are you?" demanded Goku. "Sailor Chibi Chibi Moon!"

"I'm not a fucking girl!"

"Stop cussing around my baby!" protested Kisa. She jumped off the bed, totally knocking Sanzo to the carpet, and pulled Enola away from the bickering pair. Enola's chubby little fingers were finally torn from their grasp on Goku's diadem and she immediately began to bawl.

"Shut that brat up," Sanzo said after he got to his feet.

"Now, now," Hakkai said, trying to be the peacekeeper. Hakuryuu flew over to look at the crying baby and offered a soft 'kyuu'.

For a moment, Enola was quiet, her face still red from the tears just a second before. She blinked. Then… she started screaming and flailing her little arms around, terrified of the 'big scary dragon'. Kisa immediately put her down on the bed and began trying to calm her after quickly shooing Hakuryuu away.

"Calm down," Kisa said soothingly. "It's okay. Calm down. The big, evil monster's gone bye-bye."

"Kyuu?" Hakuryuu was now perched on the computer monitor, looking in Kisa's direction. He had a faintly offended look on his face.

Hakkai came over to the bed and climbed up. "It's perfectly all right," he said soothingly to the crying baby. "There's no need to cry." Much to Kisa's surprise, Enola immediately quieted.

"How did you _do_ that?" Kisa demanded. "I've never gotten her calmed down so fast."

Hakkai smiled at the nineteen-year-old. "I've had practice."

"I've had practice, too… but I'm not that good… And with _who_!"

"That's a secret."

"He was a teacher," Cath muttered lowly, remembering volume four. Fortunately, her statement went unnoticed.

"What? You had a kid no one knew about?" Kisa asked incredulously.

Hakkai stared at her, a large sweat drop on the back of his head. "Nani!"

"Never mind!" Kisa dismissed. "Anyone that can calm down my Enola is good in my book." The Native American grinned. "And that man deserves a kiss." She grabbed Hakkai's face and pulled him close to land a quick peck on his lips. The poor man-turned-chibi's face turned red at the sudden show of affection and was rendered incapable of speech. So was most of the room.

"Um… can I have a kiss?" asked Goku, looking up hopefully. Kisa glanced over.

"Maybe if you're a good boy… and once you get big again… 'Cause I'd feel like a pedophile kissing you."

"But you kissed Hakkai!" protested the saru.

"That's 'cause I was thanking him! It's a Native American thing."

Hakkai was still stunned into insensibility and still _quite_ red in the face. Cath was looking at him rather amused. "Was that your first kiss?"

"Um… no."

"I meant as 'Hakkai'," Cath said blandly. The youkai looked very startled at that statement. "Remember? Manga?"

"Oh… yes."

"So that _was_ your first kiss?" Gojyo leered. Hakkai blinked for a moment.

"Yes… I suppose it was…" Hakkai looked over to where Sanzo was. The priest had been unusually quiet considering all that had transpired.

Sanzo was standing in front of Kisa's wardrobe and scowling upwards.

"Um… Sanzo?" Kisa said, noticing what the priest was doing. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to will his gun down," Cath said blandly. "I took it from him." Kisa turned with an awed expression on her face.

"You managed to get his _gun_ from him!" the punk asked.

"It wasn't that hard."

"Oh, _really_. So he really _is_ soft between the legs!"

"Ha, ha! I _knew_ it!" chortled Gojyo. "He _is_ soft!"

SHMACK+

"Shit, man!" Gojyo said, rubbing the back of his head where Sanzo's infamous paper fan had landed harshly. "Where the hell do you keep that damn thing!"

"None of your fucking business," snapped out Sanzo, still gripping the paper weapon. He glared up at Cath. "Give me my gun _now_."

"Confiscation!"

Sanzo looked down at his hand… his _empty_ hand. "What the hell?" He looked up and saw exactly where his fan was… In that damn punk's hand. Not only that, but her daughter was clapping happily and Goku was giving the sign for 'victory' behind her on the bed. "Give. It. Back."

"Nuh-uh! You cussed in front of my baby. You fucking deserve it!"

"How the hell does _that_ work! You swear in front of that brat, too."

"She's my kid. I can do whatever the hell I want. You aren't her daddy… well, unless you want to be… and grow up… It's kinda weird to have a five-year-old husband." Cath could tell that Kisa was totally bullshitting the priest by the grin on her face… And she also knew from the look on Sanzo's face that he had no clue she was just pulling his leg.

"No. Way. In. Hell."

"Aww… Too bad. It'd've been fun to see you as a _dad_." She accented that last bit, giving the slight hint that she wasn't being all that serious. Sanzo, being Sanzo, totally didn't catch that she was making fun of him.

"I'm never having children," he said, glaring. "Goku is _more_ than enough."

"So how much would it take to get that stick removed from your ass, Sanzo-chan?" At this point, everyone save Sanzo and Kisa were rolling with laughter. Naturally Enola didn't get what was going on, so she was just mimicking everyone else.

"… Give it." Sanzo held out his hand, a very childish gesture… but of course he didn't realize it.

"Nope. It's mine now!" Kisa grinned.

The miniaturized Sanzo glared for a moment longer before turning and stomping over to sit on the chair that was still fairly close to Catherine.

"You really need to lighten up, Sanzo," Cath told him. "She's just making fun."

"…"

"I don't think that Sanzo really understands the definition of 'humor'," Hakkai said cheerfully from his position on the bed. Fortunately it was far enough from the unhappy Sanzo, so he was safe.

Over on the bed, Goku and Enola were sitting face to face. Enola kept reaching up and trying to grab the diadem… and Goku would push her hand away gently… Enola would laugh and reach up again… and Goku would again push the hand away… and she laughed. Thus… the game of 'Touch the Diadem' was invented.

"Go-koo. Go-koo," giggled Enola, being intelligent enough to figure out that the boy with the gold on his head was named 'Goku'.

"That's right," Goku said, again batting the hand away. "My name's Goku. Now stoppit." He pushed her hand away again, making her giggle with delight.

"Go-koo!"

"…You know… I kinda miss the hot Bishie-ness of Goku and Sanzo."

"Go-koo! Bee-chie!"

"Oh isn't that cute!" Kisa said sitting down next to her little girl. "She's trying to say 'Goku-bishie'."

POOF+

/End\\\

Sorry about the long delay. Honestly, I had exams, stressed out major, and then had to go home… where my stories _weren't_. Lovely… Sigh

Anyway…

**READ & REVIEW!**

Same rules apply… three reviews to continue…

Hun Fua bitched me out about not working on the story. So to appease the bunny of DOOM… I put this up.

_The purple button is calling you…_


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